This week has been a tough one, emotionally. Got into a nasty argument with my brother-in-law (nothing new there), Janie’s days did not go as plan, my Master’s is on hold until October, and many other things.
So, lately I’ve been thinking about buying clothes for my kids to go to school. Well, for my daughter to be exact. It puzzles me, to go to the stores and see all the sleeveless tops, leggings, shorts, etc….reality is none of the items I mentioned are dress code approved for my daughter’s school. So, finding nice clothes becomes harder. Why retail stores don’t take into consideration what is needed?
Another thing that blows my mind is for a dentist to tell my daughter that her braces will come off on a certain day, then when the day comes, the dentist changed his mind!!! Why? Really?
The other, and most draining thing clouding my mind, and forbidding me from total happiness is the waiting, waiting to see where the next chapter is going to take my family. I do have some desires of where I would like to be, but there is one possibility that, perhaps is the strong one…and that one is a very cold place. I am an adventurer at heart, so moving to places is something I am not opposed to. But, my mind has been wanting to settle for good…not in MS…perhaps back to SC or anywhere close to the ocean. Going to a cold place…not my cup of tea.
One last thing I find myself battling is the boredom, the uneasy feeling of being home. Yes, I enjoyed the last two months of being at home, but I think that is all I can take. I thrive from been around people, from getting up and dressing up. Now that baseball has slow down a bit, I find myself doing nothing but watching television. No energy to do anything…I know that is how depression sneaks on you, so I do have my good days and my bad days. This week has been filled with bad days. In recognizing what affects me, I can make small changes to make my life better. So, at least I know that!
Anyhow, that is all the thoughts I have in my head this week. Next week will be a better one, the kids start school, and I get some quiet time. It will be a challenging time for me, because I will be all alone, so it will be up to me to figure out what I want to do with my free time.by