Usually by this time I already have carved my pumpkins. However, since my kids are teenagers, it has not happened yet. We purchased the pumpkins two weeks ago, and they are seating at the entrance to our home. The pumpkins greet us “hello” every time we walk into the home and “goodbye” every time we walk out the door.
It brings back, again, the argument about being a hardcore parent, devoted to their children vs the parents who does not stop being themselves, thinking about them before they think about their children. I know, like always, there has to be a balance. In my case, I stop being a human being to become a mother, and although I love my children with all my being…I regret the fact that I stop having fun, to have them have a fun and what I thought was a complete, happy life.
Reality is, teenagers are no fun. They can either make or break your relationship. For example, this past Saturday I woke up, my happy-go-lucky self. I walked in to the kitchen with the intentions to make a good breakfast, and not to my surprise, there was a mess in the kitchen. So, to make a long story short, between cleaning the kitchen and making breakfast, I spent two hours in the kitchen. Needless to say I was furious. I was angry because it is very unfair that my teenagers think they do not have to help around the house. In fact, they do not! I have one that will do it, as long as we tell him to do it. The other one, she would not do anything, lazy as she can be.
So, pretty much, my Saturday was ruined. I was in the worst mood ever, I even found myself looking for rental homes in Southport, NC. Yes, I was so planning on packing my clothes and drive away. Yes, I was planning on running away from all the chaos. I was planning on leaving them with their father!!! Can you believe that? Scary, but real! So, at dinner time, another issue took place that made me even sadder. I addressed the issue with the child, and the response was not a good one. So, I told them, they either act like the have some common sense or I was walking away. One family member cry, the other was dumbfounded and one laughed.
I finally ended up in my room, in my corner, talked it out with my hubby (who is just an amazing guy, by the way, we are very opposites, but nonetheless, he is a great guy). He understands my frustration, and he wants my happiness, and he does not want to give up on “us”. So, I snapped (a little) out of that dark place, and we rented a movie, watched the movie, then call it a day.
So, sadly, my teenagers have forced me to be the mother and not the mother-friend I have always try to be. Enforcing rules will be my goal from this point forward. Not giving into their “Please Mama” when they want something. Holding them accountable for their actions or lack off. I’ve always been a fighter, and if I go down, I will go down swinging. Teenagers can make or break your marriage, it is up to you to fight for it. It’s not that they create the trouble purposely, they just lack the common sense to know what their actions are provoking on others. So hang tight and do not let your teenagers ruin the rest of your life, destroy the one thing you have work hard to keep, and never, ever, stop loving them. This too shall pass…by