Little by little the chapter continues to close…nothing left, nothing to hold on to…just the memories that were created this past eight years. Memories filled with laughter, joy, tears, and friendships. As the circle closes…my heart aches, my eyes watered, my emotions are all over the place.
It feels like dreaming, when you hear others tell you that everything is going to be alright. That, of course, is the hope. However, there is always the unknown…that little voice in my head telling me…what if it doesn’t work out?…what if that was the wrong decision?
Today someone said, “You just have to deal with it”…wise words…there is no looking back. I will forever hold on to the memories. I guess it would be different if it was a familiar place, if there were any familiar faces, if there was a purpose for me. But, for now, I am just following my significant other. I know, or I should say, I hope, that I can find some satisfaction as soon as I get there. I thrive from people, I need people around me…I hope I am welcome…I hope my ethnicity is not a problem. I hope there are plenty like me…I hope it works the best for all of us.
I am not use to been the follower…I like to lead, I like things my way, and for this new adventure I am just a follower. I am starting to feel the awkwardness of being at home, I rested enough, I am ready to go out there and work. However, the remaining three, prefer that I stay home. You see, how do we know when enough is enough? Why is it so hard for certain people to respect others needs and desires…others dreams?
Sometimes we wish we could change some things, but sometimes we can’t…so is kind of like, swimming against the current, like paddling a sinking boat with hope that someone will come to the rescue. I know there are difficult days ahead; I just hope that our desire to maintain a united family is enough to get us through the rough paths ahead.
Late night thoughts….