Wow, what a meltdown I had last night!!! Phew!!!
My honey has been hurting so, so bad, his back is in bad shape, it has been for a while. 2015 really took a toll on him, forcing him to visit a physician and get treatment going. Well, when your back is broken, there is hardly anything you can do to find release. Pain killers, physical therapy, diet and exercise may make a dent for a little while, but in the long run, do nothing. My hubby is so amazing! I mean that when I say it! He is the kind of man who will not complaint about anything. To see him hurt, as bad as he hurt, totally crushed my heart.
His pain is so bad, he can hardly do anything. When you are a person who has dedicated your life to care for your family, to be a provider, a father and a husband, it’s very hard to cope with the limitations associated with a back injury.
So, last night, he was sharing with me, all his concerns (all associated with the back injury) and the options (not many) and finding the right time to make decisions about his options. And stupid fool that I am, I just broke down and cry!!!! Not only I cry, I got mad at him…(don’t ask me why, I just did)!!!! Not nice, AT ALL, I apologized to him later on…
Now, looking back, I know why the meltdown happened. I mean, I have such an amazing husband, he is just so good to me, he treats me like a queen and love me unconditionally that I cannot imagine not having him by my side. It made me so sad that he suffers, in silence, just so he doesn’t worry us. Last night, I felt helpless, I felt like there was nothing I can do to ease his pain, to ease his mind…I felt helpless, weak, overwhelmed, and I just cried…loud! I wished I could take his pain and make it my pain.
We have a plan, I just wish we could find some relief for his back in the mean time. I will pray, I will pray hard for my husband. He is the BEST and I want him to be next to me FOREVER…whatever FOREVER is in GOD’s book.