Finding your place

 

 Gustav Klimt I have a pretty amazing life, I have been blessed with an amazing husband, not perfect, amazing. The same is to be said about my children, they are amazing, in all kinds of ways.  This year, I have been struggling with motherhood, because I have always been a hands-on mom.  Now that the children are teenagers, they are eager to explore things on their own and their own way. I’ve been struggling with the fact that, if I am not doing something for or with the children, I don’t know what to do with myself.

So, I decided to talk to a professional, and to my surprised, she is a young counselor, with new ideas and somewhat the same values I have.  She has been providing some alternatives to the issues that bother me.  Now that I am in my 40’s, I can try to do things a different way.  It’s working!  My teenagers are no longer my enemies, they have their own space, and I patiently wait for them to ask for my opinions and assistance. It’s a work in progress, not something that you can turn on and off…but in making an effort, I am able to see small changes.  Changes that are beneficial for the entire family.

Now, I make plans, and I don’t even bother to include the kids, nor do I consider their likes and dislikes. Now, Jason and I, get up, get dressed, and off we go…we invite them…and if they want to come…well…great…if they don’t…well…great!  Learning to live and have an identity after devoting the last 15 years of your life to be a mother, can be challenging. So, I continue to take baby steps, Jason and I continue to make our relationship stronger, we have fun…and we share laughter and giggles…that to me…measure happiness.  

So, don’t give up just yet…teehager-hood shall pass…eventually.  Learn to be yourself again, and allow your children to make mistakes, hit walls, and wait for them to come to you…you can do all this…and still show them and tell them that you love them, that they mean the world to you.  Life is getting better, it has been a very stressful summer…summer of 2015…one that I will never forget…and not for the right reasons. But, there is more life to live,more memories to create and the hope that everything will be OK.

 

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