Sometimes we are so wrapped up in our adulthood world that we forget about the little ones we chose to bring into the world. I am the mother of a very intelligent, naturally gifted, teenager. My girl, is very loud about been totally different from her mother. Sadly, as years pass by, she realizes more and more…how similar she is to her mother. Of course as a very hands-on mom, I am aware of the things she does, she said, she reacts to every single second I am nearby. I have known that she listens to me, even when she pretends she is not to. I know that she takes my advice, even when she tries not to.
Observing her reaction when I am having an adult conversation, whether with family or friends, is the best tool I have. I was an Investigator for many years, so Observation and active listening is one of the characteristics I develop from those years of investigating. It is an amazing tool for a parent!
I am not perfect…far from it. But, when it comes to life, the normal things in life like work, relationships, decision making…I try to always be on point. Why? Because I have children observing everything I do, every word I say, every attitude or change of mood I have. I try to teach my children that, although, nobody is perfect…some things in life have to be right.
Let’s take for example dating. I am pretty sure that all of you reading this have been in a tumultuous relationship at one time or another. I was in a 5-year relationship with his idiot, and it ended up in a blink of an eye. There were plenty of red flags, but I, as a then 19 year old chose to ignore those red flags. After the break-up, I decided that I was going to do me right. That I, in a relationship, will be treated the way I treat my significant other, or better. I am blessed with a great husband, not perfect, not at all, but someone who loves me dearly, is not afraid of saying so and demonstrating his love for me, and he is not afraid to have a strong woman by his side. My hope is that when my daughter starts dating, she sees pass the silly flaws and pay attention to those red flags. For example: If he always have an excuse not to go see her, If he is always “Busy” doing something else, If he always put others feelings above her, If he struggles or plane simple do not talk about his feelings towards her-I mean let’s face it, we all like to hear that “I Love You”…and more than hearing it, we all want to feel it! Trust me when a man loves a woman, she knows!!!! Another example is decision-making. I want my daughter to be strong enough to make life changing decisions on her own. I want my daughter to know and understand that just because she hanging out with someone, or dating someone, she does not have to change her core values, she does not have to change who she is, there is a level of modification that we all encounter when we decide to tie the knot. But, modifying and changing are two different things.
I am stubborn, outspoken, loyal, hard-working, independent, and a great mother. I try very hard to keep myself in check…because after all …I am my daughter’s mother…and I want my daughter to grow to be an independent woman, capable of conquering the world, strong enough and smart enough to know that she must love herself first before she can love someone else. Strong enough to know and learn that her heart will be broken and that it is OK, that there is light at the end of the tunnel, that all those uncomfortable experiences we have to deal with…only make us stronger. I love my daughter….I would keep writing….but I really have to go pick her up from school…think about it!!! Your daughter is a reflection of you…by