Life has a way to bring focus into negativity. It is so easy to just think about something that is not going right, to allow the rest of our days be miserable. Having teenagers is also one of those things that can either make or break a couple! Seriously!
I love my children, you all know that, but I would be lying if I say everything is “peachy”, because it’s not! Teenagers are dealing with all sorts of crazy emotions…close your eyes and try to go back to when you were 16 years old…remember that…exactly…our teenagers are going through the same insecurities, mood changes, self-doubts, anger issues, etc…it’s normal!!!! Hello!!!
So, overall I am a super happy person, I love me happy, I love to laugh, to goof off, to be silly, to make others happy, etc. But, in my teenager’s eyes…I am just stupid and silly! So, for many years, the kids sort of controlled my moods. This week, I was so happy that it took me back to the old me. So, I decided that my teenagers will not control me ever again. You know what the solution is? Ignore them!!!! Yes, you read it right…if they are fed, clothed, and they have a roof over their heads, you have done your job. Ignore the teens rollercoaster emotions, I know is hard!
I am not telling you to stop being concerned about your child’s well-being…observe, and wait until they come to you with their problems, worries, and needs. You see, by 15-16 years old, your child knows you. They know they can count on you (well, if you’ve been a good parent), they know you have their backs! A while back I saw a counselor, who helped me deal with my relationship with my princess. Princess and I are pretty alike, so we bumped heads a lot! The counselor, a very young lady, plain and simple told me to live my life and to allow my kids to hit walls!!!
Yes, to hit walls!!! I was dumbfounded! But, it works…teenagers are going to be adults pretty soon, they need to learn to make decisions, to recover from their mistakes, and to be responsible. It is my opinion, that we as a Society failed the millennial’s generation. Those self-centered individuals who believe that the world owes then everything. Allowing our teens to hit some walls, will give them a reality check of what life is all about (while they are still under your wing, so you can guide them when they come to you). Is not easy, but it works for me!
I have the best teenagers in the world, but I am a very strong-minded woman, who has certain rules, and who like things certain ways. So, my struggle as a mom is to allow the teens to do things their way (because let’s face it, I’ve been there, done that). So, after seeking advice, I was doing great…but then I went back to my old habits, and that created a little bit of unhappiness in my life. Now, after actually observing everyone’s reactions to my happiness vs. unhappiness, I realized that although a little harsh (the ignoring teens part), the entire family benefits from mama’s happiness!
I could keep writing on this forever…but let’s leave it at this…allow your teens to hit the walls, and keep them from controlling your life, your moods, and your happiness! For me, taking a step back, ignoring certain behaviors and things, and literally telling myself that “today is going to be a great day, full of laughter and joy”…is what works! Feel free to share your experiences, troubles, and life with your teenagers. I believe we can help one anther with ideas of how to handle issues or we can laugh together at this crazy thing called, “raising teenagers”.
Latin Mama in te South