15 years ago…I became a mother for the first time

 

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It’s hard to believe that 15 years ago, I became a mother for the 1st time.  I was blessed with a healthy, robust baby girl with a head full of black, curly hair.  We were thrilled!  Daddy and I were absolutely in love!  She was stubborn from the get go, even in my belly she was active, she kept me up all night rolling from side to side, I suffered from heartburn to the point that chewing on Tums was like chewing gum during those last 4 months of my pregnancy.

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Janie was born on July 14, 2001 at Bethesda Naval Hospital in Maryland.  I was blessed to have my mother and my husband during the child-birth.  It was not a pretty scene, to the contrary, it was heck it, loud, stressful, painful and long, very long.  I spend 22 hours in labor…an epidural was given after being dilated 4 centimeters, I had some hoses going inside my vgg because Janie decided to poop inside and they had to drain all that waste.  To make a very long story short, at some point one of the nurses did something that resulted in my epidural being compromised.  I went from being very comfortable to the worst physical pain I have ever had.

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I cursed, I screamed, I latched at every single person that was in that room.  I begged and begged to have the baby out.  After monitoring the baby’s heart rate, the OB/GYN decided it was time for a C-section.  As soon as I heard those words, I began breathing again.  I was scared and relieved. After 22 hours of being in pain, poked, etc I was going to hold my Janie in my arms.

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You know when you have a C-section, you don’t feel any pain, but you do feel the pressure of whatever the medical personal is doing to your body. So, I felt the pressure of the bisturi, and I felt the doctor’s hands separating my abdomen…and one of the greatest feelings in the world, I felt Janie’s head popping out…her cry came immediately after that…and so did my own. In that moment, I learned what true love is. I was mesmerized by Janie’s beauty.  She was so perfect. She was so chunky, the rolls on her legs were huge and gorgeous. She was a healthy baby, she was complete!!! I was blessed, I was complete.

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Throughout the years Janie prove to be a force to be reckoned with.  Sleeping has never been her thing! That little girl has stolen the joy of sleeping from me since she was inside of me.  She continues to do so today, 15 years after, she continues to stay up all night…she is a night owl.

Janie has been a challenge and a blessing in my life.  I often say, she is my strength.  She test me to the core, she loves me in ways that are not the norm. She has a very sarcastic way of telling you she loves you.  She has a very judgmental personality, and I guess she perhaps got that from me. Janie is very gifted, she is super smart (that one she got from her awesome dad), her similarities to mom and dad are so defined, there is no doubt who that girls parents are.  She is lazy, she hates chores, she is passionate about music and she loves to read.  Janie dreams big, she believes in education, she knows that she needs to go to college if she wants to have a comfortable life. She is a defender of the not so strong, of the believe that everyone should do what ever it is that makes them happy ,regardless of religion or what is “socially correct”. Janie adores her family, even when she is angry at them.  She is crazy about her little brother, you can see it in her face, however she will never say it out loud.  She cares so much about her JJ is funny.  I just wish she would let him know, but she never will!

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Being stubborn has been good and bad for her.  She has faced some difficult times at her young age, all results of her personality and behaviors. She came on top, she understood that taming her stubbornness was a good thing, she understood that becoming a better listener and accepting others for who they are, brings harmony around her. I hope she never change, she is my sweet princess.  She is my girl, my pride and joy, she is one of the reasons I push myself, why I try to be a better person every day.  I pray God that He protects her, that He allows her to be happy, to be a wife and a mother one day. I pray my God for her health, for her happiness, I pray God that He makes her life less difficult than what it has to be.

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Happy birthday my Janie.  May all your dreams come true.  May your light shine always and may you continue to live your life in a way that makes you happy. Dream big, try everything, and if you fail then get up and do it again. Put down those walls that hold you back, have no fear, trust in God, push yourself to the limit and then some…laugh, cry, love, travel, read, meet new people.  Do what ever it is that make your heart jump out of your chest. Fly baby girl fly super high…mama loves your more than life itself.  Thank you for making me a mother, for pushing me to give you all you need and deserve, thank you for testing me so often, than you for making me stronger. I love you Janie.

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