Christmas is around the corner, just 14 more days and we’ll be celebrating Christ’s birth!!! I love Christmas, I love the festivities, the togetherness, decorations, food, presents, and most of all…spending it with my husband and children.
2017 has been an emotional rollercoaster…we started the year knowing we were coming back to South Carolina. Although excited, I knew I was going to miss some amazing ladies in Mississippi and Tennessee. March came sooner than expected and on the 16th we started our drive to our new home.
Upon arrival, I cannot lie, I felt that I was exactly where I belong. I will always be Puerto Rican (hello!), but I call South Carolina my home. There is just something so special about living in a small town, about going to the local grocery store and see the same people I been seeing since I first moved to this beautiful state back in 2006.
We quickly settled into our new norm. Kids back to school, hubs was already working, and my Lucky and I were unpacking for a couple of months. Then, the urge to go back to work crept on me. My wonderful God provided me with a job, and I was super excited about it! After been on the job for a few months, I realized the job description was completely wrong…I decided to quit the job. It was a tough decision, I do not like to quit, I mean there are so many people in need of a job, I felt as I was being disrespectful to those who gave me the opportunity. However, the long hours the job required, kept me away from home longer than expected.
Now, everyone seems to have a good rhythm, hubs continue working, son is participating in baseball winter workouts, daughter is killing 11th grade and she is also working (thanks to a special Angel). Everyone is happy…as for me…I find myself in the same spot. Looking and wishing for a job! But, it’s not as easy as it seems. People tell me, “you are Bilingual, people will hire you quick”…well, not really!
Finding a job nowadays is not as easy as it was a couple of years ago. A big part has to do with my willingness to compromise, I still struggle not being as present to my family as I have ever been. I like taking care of my family, making sure they are fed, house clean, errands run, you know all the things mom’s do. On top of that, sitting in the dining room to eat together at least 4 times a week is a priority to me, something that, as the kids get older, seems more difficult to do.
What do I have left, I can cry my eyes out, let the loneliness take over, go for walks with my dog, be miserable and make others miserable…you name it! What I do try to do is leave it to my Lord. He knows what is best, not only for me but for all of US. I continue praying I can go back to work for the State, just because that is where I started. All I can do is apply, pray, and hope. I know I am an excellent employee, I know what I am capable of doing. I also know that sometimes the plan is bigger than what we can see. I know that the things I want, may not be what is best for me. Therefore, I sit, wait, pray, and hope…in that order.
No need to allow sadness to take over, no need to dwell on the past, no need to point fingers, no need to ask why, no need to wonder, and although that is a lot easier to say than to do…I MUST…because I BELIEVE and I have FAITH.
Latin Mama in the Southby